Every person experiences loss differently, and their needs during bereavement vary just as widely. While some organizations offer additional leave on a case-by-case basis, creating a structured yet flexible bereavement process helps ensure consistent, equitable support for all employees when they need it most.
Grief affects everyone differently in the workplace, and it's natural to see changes in:
Focus and concentration
Energy levels and engagement
Work patterns and productivity
Social interactions with colleagues
Building a Bereavement Process That Works
Throw Out the Rulebook (Well, most of It)
Instead of creating a policy and a process that reads like a legal document, start with this simple question: "What would I need if I were grieving?" Consider what actually matters: Maybe it's the death of an extended family member who raised you, or maybe it's traveling across the globe for a funeral. Your policy and your processes need flexibility built into its foundation – think adjustable leave time based on travel needs, relationship significance (not just legal definitions), and individual circumstances. Create guidelines that give managers room to make human decisions while still maintaining consistency.
Create a Communication Framework That Makes Sense
This isn't just about streamlining notification procedures – it's about building a system that works when people aren't at their best. Start with clear templates that managers can customize for different situations. Map out exactly who needs to be notified and when – from HR to team members to project stakeholders. Build in protocols for work coverage that spread the load fairly across teams. Most importantly, create standard check-in points that feel supportive rather than administrative, complete with suggested talking points and boundaries for managers.
Support That Actually Supports
An EAP phone number buried in an email isn't sufficient support. Real support starts internally first and that doesn't mean your Human Resource manager is suddenly a grief counselor. It means having an organizational process in place that supports your leaders, their teams and the bereaved through foggy journey forward.
It also means having grief counseling services readily available, with direct contacts and clear processes for making connections. It means creating resource packets that are actually useful – think local support groups, recommended reading, practical guides for handling everything from death certificates to insurance papers and it also means developing a return-to work plan that is supportive of the whole team. And it absolutely means having flexibility built into your return-to-work policies that managers can implement without excessive bureaucracy.
Making It Work in Real Life
When Someone First Shares Their Loss, be a human before you are a manager or leader. And we know that everyone has a different management style so don't get stressed about what to say or what not to say, what is most important is your actions.
Here at Grief Advocacy, we suggest:
1. Lead with humanity, not policy
2. Handle the urgent stuff (their work, their team, their immediate needs)
3. Document everything in emails – from coverage plans to leave dates
4. Set calendar meetings for check-ins and communication
5. Let them know you'll be reaching out regularly with updates and support
When They Come Back
The return process starts before they actually return because it is wearing on their heart long before they are due back. So the best things we can do for everyone including the team that has been filling in for them is to go slow.
Before they Return:
Schedule a planning call a few days before their return
Send a brief team update about their coming back
Create a modified work plan for their first few weeks
Set up check-in meetings for their first months back
First Week Back:
Daily quick check-ins to get them back to speed in small tidbits
Buffer their schedule from high-pressure meetings
Review and adjust workload as needed
Ongoing Support:
Weekly one-on-ones for the first month
Monthly check-ins after that
Flexibility around significant dates (anniversaries, birthdays)
Open door policy for difficult days
Training Your Managers
Most managers need clear guidance on handling bereavement situations. By creating step-by-step protocols and guidelines, even those without prior experience can provide meaningful support. Think of it as providing a framework that enables consistent, compassionate responses while allowing for personalization when needed.
Managers need:
Practical scripts for difficult conversations
Clear decision-making authority about leave and accommodations
Step-by-step protocols for different scenarios
Their own support system for handling challenging situations
The Reality Check
Here's what it all comes down to: your bereavement process is a reflection of your company's culture. It's not about creating the perfect policy – it's about building something that recognizes grief as a normal part of life that requires flexibility and understanding. The organizations that get this right create cultures where employees feel supported through life's most challenging moments. They understand that meaningful bereavement support isn't just compassionate – it's essential for building resilient teams and maintaining long-term productivity.
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